Your brain was shaped for a world that existed long before modern life, and parts of it still haven’t gotten the message that anything has changed.
Anxiety is often misunderstood or even vilified as a failure of our character or person. This is understandable, as so many of our experiences surrounding anxiety are highly negative and seemingly illogical. The problem often comes from trying to force a modern societal framework onto truly ancient survival mechanisms. Of course, our caveman brain isn’t going to understand that the stress we feel about our modern life circumstances is any different from trying to survive in the ancient wilds.
Now, your reaction to this might be to fight back and tell your caveman brain to relax and get with the times! You may have even tried this in one way or another and found that it wasn’t very effective. However, we have to remember that this is ultimately still a part of us, not something we can simply wish away. In fact, we may not even want to. That part of us is the same part that helps us recognize when we might be in real danger, or gives us the frustration and anger we sometimes need to push just a little bit harder toward our goals.
But what if there were another way? What if, instead of trying to get rid of our primal instincts, we joined them with our rational mind and embraced them so that they might cooperate with us instead of fighting against us?
When we feel unsafe or in danger at a primal level, no matter how “irrational” it might seem, telling ourselves to stop being vigilant can feel tantamount to telling ourselves to walk off a cliff or straight into danger. Millions of years of evolution and survival will fight back against that message, and that fight can emerge as resistance in a variety of forms.
Instead, we can begin by honoring that part of ourselves and recognizing the good things it says about us. Our anxiety may say that we care deeply about doing well, protecting the people we love, avoiding another painful experience, or building a life that feels stable and secure. When we understand what that part of us is trying to accomplish, we can begin working with it rather than treating it as an enemy.
This does not mean allowing anxiety to make every decision for us. It means acknowledging why it showed up before deciding what we actually need. By taking this approach, we can often help the primal mind settle back to a level where it is no longer overactive, but instead active enough to protect us without making life any harder than it needs to be.
So, the next time you feel anxiety taking hold, try asking what that part of you believes it is protecting you from. What might your anxiety say about the things you value, the people you care about, or the kind of person you want to be? You do not have to agree with everything it tells you or allow it to make your decisions. However, by approaching it with curiosity instead of hostility, you may find that it becomes a little more willing to listen to you too.
