There’s an unexpected identity shift that happens when you become a mother, one that goes far beyond physical recovery or learning how to care for a baby. It can feel disorienting, tender, and unexpectedly emotional, even when your baby is deeply wanted and loved. Many women are surprised by how much changes, not just around them, but within them.
There is a word for this transition: matrescence. The term was coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael to describe the developmental process of becoming a mother. Much like adolescence, it involves changes in identity, relationships, hormones, and a sense of self. It is not a single moment, but an unfolding process that takes time.
In this season, it is common to feel both gratitude and grief. You might notice moments of deep love alongside a sense of loss for your previous independence or identity. You may feel more sensitive, more anxious, or simply more stretched and overwhelmed than you ever expected. None of this means you are doing anything wrong. It means you are in the middle of navigating a significant life shift.
What often helps is not trying to rush through it but allowing space for it. This might look like lowering expectations, staying connected to supportive people, or carving out small, consistent moments that are just for you. It can also mean talking openly about your experience, even the parts that feel complicated or hard to name.
Motherhood was never meant to be navigated in isolation. If you are finding yourself wanting more support or simply a place to be understood, our Motherhood Process Group meets virtually on Tuesdays at 12:00 pm. It is a gentle, supportive space to connect with other mothers and explore this transition together.
So, however, this season is unfolding for you; it is okay to move through it slowly. You are not behind, and you are definitely not alone.
